How to ensure a spot in my heart for you:

1) Cross the street in the middle of the block. At night. Wearing dark clothing.
2) Hit a dog and don’t slow down - weave a bit; the dog will eventually roll free.
3) Explode in a rage of fury - cursing and flailing, in the middle of a department store - at your 1 year old child.
4) Wear clothing that would be considered perfect - by a stripper in the middle of her act.
5) Or that would look too big on an elephant.
6) Communicate using words and phrases that only you understand, since you made them up this morning, and then get upset because I can’t tell you where the frizzle frazzle is jizzle.
7) Communicate using obscene language, especially the “F” bomb every other word.
Communicate in the language from your home country, get upset when no one is able to communicate back, and then raise such a stink that the entire government capitulates and starts publishing everything in your language. You want everything printed in your language? Go to the country where everything is printed in that language. If you want to stay/live/work in the US, learn English.
9) Publicly blame your background/upbringing/parents/economic status for your actions. Never accept that what you have reaped is exactly what you have sown.

Can you tell I am not happy with today’s conventions? Whatever happened to personal responsibility, and pride in your appearance? Whatever happened to being afraid to jaywalk, much less break any other law, because if the cops didn’t get you your mother would? Does the phrase “Wait ’til your father gets home” have any meaning anymore? It used to scare the bad out of me real quick. Why do some people expect respect when they don’t give any - to their peers, their followers, their elders, their parents, their teachers, or even themselves?

My mother used to tell us all the time - “You won’t get along with anyone until you can get along with the person in the mirror.” If you didn’t respect yourself, you wouldn’t respect others. If you had no regard for your own life, you would have no regard for anyone (or anything) else’s life.

My pastor gave me a piece of advice that I’ve been incorporating in my everyday life, whenever I see something endearing: “People are retarded. That’s the only explanation.”

He may be on to something.

Note: The following is HUMOR. If you are humor impaired, or just plain liberal, please ask a conservative to explain it to you:

Just got a new Infiniti QX56 a few days ago. I returned to the dealer the next day because I couldn’t figure out how the radio worked.

The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated.

“Watch this,” he said, “Nelson!” The radio replied, “Ricky or Willie?”

“Willie!,” he said … and “On The Road Again” came from the speakers.

I drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time I’d say,”Beethoven,” I’d get beautiful classical music, and if I said “Beatles,” I’d get one of their awesome songs.

Yesterday a couple ran a red light and nearly creamed my new car, but I swerved in time to avoid them.

“Idiots!!” I yelled.

Suddenly the French National Anthem began to play, sung by Jane Fonda and Michael Moore, backed up by John Kerry on guitar, Al Gore on drums, and Bill Clinton on sax.

I love this car.

Happiest of Christmas greetings to each and everyone of you!

I have a few posts in the works; some may see the light of day, others may just be catharsis for my thoughts. I hope to be able to get back to my semi-irregular posting schedule after the New Year; things are blocking any progress here.

Two things for my two or three readers to consider, leading into this Christmas Weekend:

1) YOU are invited to attend the Christmas Day Service at Harvest Christian Fellowship Arizona, located at 2232 W. Campbell (halfway between Indian School and Camelback) at 1:30 p.m. Christmas Day. First, you will be blessed with the fellowship of Christians; second, you will get the chance to hear my singing voice; third (and most importantly), you will get to hear about the Christ!

2) If you or someone you know would be interested in adopting Princess, please let me know. E-mail your phone number and name to me at carycartterATgmailDOTcom, I will call you with the details. She is about 17 months old, very loving (except to other dogs, so she must be the only dog), and very energetic. Princess does not like our four girl dogs and tolerates our boy dog, but she has not shown any affection to any other dogs at all. She finds cats to be fascinating - she will watch them very closely, as if they were about to make off with the family silver, but she doesn’t bother them. We need to find a home for her, as her presence has bad memories for a couple of our dogs and everyone is on eggshells while she is with us.

Blessings and peace of the season to all of you, and Merry Christmas!

I am still working on getting comfortable with the concept of a blog. For example, the back story of the previous entry is a long and drawn out affair, but it is something that I still need to work through. It certainly isn’t going to appear on the blog any time soon.

Suffice it to say that due to someone’s “reformed” actions, a close friend is no longer able to share Christmas with his family.

Lord, forgive my hatred, soften my heart, and have mercy on Mr. Williams’ soul.

Stanley “Tookie” Williams was put to death this morning at 12:35 am by lethal injection.

Maybe now, Tio, you can rest in peace.

Wow. We’re remodeling the office we are working in, and the new cabinets are coming in at the same time as a bunch of new jobs. If you have ever tried to work on the computer while general construction is going on all around you, then you have an idea what we are going through.

Did I mention that we are doing our own install of cabinets, removal of walls, and finishing? Yeah, all that AND keeping the shop supplied with paperwork. What fun. And no stress, right?

I hope you all had a good Thanksgiving. I know I did.

I also pray that you all have a wonderful Christmas season. If you are not following a faith that allows recognition of the Christian holidays, then I pray you have a good whatever you celebrate at this time of year. You know, Happy Hanukkah, Good Kwanzaa, Merry Festivus, whatever.

I also pray that you will not allow the MSM to suppress the Christian belief system any more than they have. If they publish something that is so homogeneous that it leaves no flavor behind, then they have paved over another bit of the landscape with their political over-correctness, and you would be doing humanity a favor by calling them on it with a letter to the editor. If you don’t find political correctness to be the worst thing to happen to the English language, then stop reading this blog. I have probably offended you more times than could be counted.

As it should be, since I am not a fan of political correctness. Don’t get me wrong - I will never be offensive on purpose, unless plain and honest statements offend you. Then I will be offensive all the time. And please, let me know if I have offended you with the truth - I’ll show you my source.

I love you all, and my fervent prayer is that you will all see the truth of Jesus, and accept Him as your personal Lord and Saviour. I know He wants you to, and that is your purpose in life.

Merry Christmas, one and all!