The "O" Word
Conservative by Nature, Christian by Choice
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MEG Woke Up

October 15th, 2008 . by Cary

MEG woke up about 0200 this morning and won’t go back to sleep – yet. I’m hoping to bore her to tears with internet surking so she will go back to sleep, so I can go back to sleep.

While looking around this morning, my friend prying1 (alternate site: prying1books.com) forwarded this to me:

From the MANITOBA HERALD, Canada

The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration.

The possibility of a McCain/Palin election is prompting the exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they’ll soon be required to hunt, pray, and agree with Bill O’Reilly.

Canadian border farmers say it’s not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night. ‘I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn,’ said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. ‘The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken.’

In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blare Rush Limbaugh across the fields. ‘Not real effective,’ he said. ‘The liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much they wouldn’t give milk.’

Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them across the border and leave them to fend for themselves. ‘A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions,’ an Ontario border patrolman said. ‘I found one carload without a drop of drinking water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley Cabernet, though.’

When liberals are caught, they’re sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about the McCain administration establishing re-education camps in which liberals will be forced to shoot wolves from airplanes, deny evolution, and act out drills preparing them for the Rapture.

In recent days, liberals have turned to sometimes-ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizen passengers on Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney hits to prove they were alive in the ’50s. ‘If they can’t identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we get suspicious about their age,’ an official said.

Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan Sarandon movies. ‘I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can’t support them,’ an Ottawa resident said. ‘How many art history and English majors does one country need?’

Thank you for stopping by, In GOD We Trust, God bless you all, listen to The O Word on BlogTalkRadio, Wear Red on Fridays, and support Warriors for Innocence!

224 – disgusting!

A Funny Thing Happened

October 13th, 2008 . by Cary

Friday, October 3, 2008. After picking up my brother from Phoenix Sky Harbor, we met TMBWitW and MEG at My Mother’s Restaurant for lunch. My brother and I then motored north to Flagstaff for LeaAnn’s service.

On the way north, interstate 17 passes through the Verde River Valley (the area is also known as Verde Valley, or Camp Verde – Gawfer, you know the area I’m talking about!). Going north into Verde, the interstate goes down a long and winding grade. The speed limit drops to 65 mph there, and I usually just drift on down with the car in gear, letting the motor take care of the speed. This time, however…

My brother and I had been talking, and the cruise was set between 75 and 77 mph. Dropping over the top of the grade, and easing down, the traffic as very light and the conversation was steady – not involved, but steady, if you see the difference. The car didn’t build up a LOT of speed, but by the time the grade flattened out, the speedometer was reading 82 as I flashed past the trooper sitting in the median.

Yup, got pulled over, as I should have been. We were slowing for the exit, to get sodas for the rest of the trip, and the tropper pulled onto the exit behind us, and gave us a light show.

I had my license and the car registration out, ready for him, when he introduced himself. He also asked for proof of insurance, and I couldn’t find the current card – but I did have to look through all the previous cards to make sure I didn’t have the current one (he even asked to see some of the previous ones).

“Mr. Cartter, the reason I stopped you was because radar clocked you at 82 miles per hour at the bottom of the hill. Now, the 75 mph zone doesn’t start up until another hundred yards or so beyond where I was sitting, but even in the 75 zone 82 is a bit fast. Now, if you will just wait right here while I run your information through the computer to make sure no one else wants to talk to you, I’ll be right back.”

My brother and I sat there and chatted about previous tickets we had gotten (believe it or not, we were kinda wild in our youth) until I saw the trooper headed back to my window with – could it be? thank you, Lord! – a clipboard in his hand.

“Mr. Cartter, I checked with the fifty states and you are not wanted in any of them…”

“Thanks for not checking the other seven…” slipped out before I could stop myself.

“…and two points for the Obama reference” he continued with a slight grin. “I have written a warning for you, to watch your speed and make sure you get a current copy of your insurance card in the vehicle. You never know when you’ll need it.”

My surprise was written all over my face, and I said “Thank you for the warning. I do apologize, I was talking to my brother, down from Salt Lake, and we were headed to our sister’s funeral.” I signed the warning, he gave me a copy, and we continued to the convenience store to get a couple of cokes.

When we got back in the car, I looked at the warning. The nice trooper had written it for 80 in a 75. What a wonderful example of God’s Grace, I thought. I deserved a ticket, I was waiting for the ticket, and instead I received a warning.

Thank you for stopping by, In GOD We Trust, God bless you all, listen to The O Word on BlogTalkRadio, Wear Red on Fridays, and support Warriors for Innocence!

222?!?

Red Friday

October 10th, 2008 . by Cary

Wear Red on Friday

Today on The O Word: AIG’s spending habits – with YOUR MONEY, How to gain the attention of the FBI by using someone’s full name (Barack Hussein Obama) – Where are the dollars going in the bailout? – Private jet passengers next on the list to be screened – speaking of Obama, this video has some interesting information – prying1, Gawfer, and AnnieB make huge contributions.

Remember I told you that I had scraped my leg on a couple of screws on Tuesday?

Two screws, no waiting

Oh, sorry – I should have warned you.

Thank you for stopping by, In GOD We Trust, God bless you all, listen to The O Word on BlogTalkRadio, Wear Red on Fridays, and support Warriors for Innocence!

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Friday – At Last

October 3rd, 2008 . by Cary

Due to family matters, The O Word will not be on the air this morning. Please join me next week at 0700 Mountain Standard Time (’cause we don’t save daylight in the desert – that’s just daft).

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Thank you for stopping by, In GOD We Trust, God bless you all, listen to The O Word on BlogTalkRadio, Wear Red on Fridays, and support Warriors for Innocence!

A View From Tuesday

September 30th, 2008 . by Cary

Before heading out this morning, I thought I would take a quick peek at the ol’ blogroll, and my first stop was over at BlackFive. Down the page a bit was a link to a NewYorkSlimes piece whining about the common sense that prevailed over the king’s ransom being handed out to failures. Story here.

This part of the story is what caught my eye, and is triggering a bit of a common sense rant:

Treasury Secretary Henry M. Paulson Jr., appearing at the White House late Monday afternoon, warned that the failure of the rescue plan could dry up credit for businesses big and small, making them unable to make payrolls or buy inventory.

Maybe I’ve been going about this “business owner” thing all wrong – I thought you bought inventory and paid wages out of the money you made from the service and/or product you provided? You know, collect on the invoice, turn around and pay your employees, buy more inventory, pay the utilities, and the leftover goes in the owner’s pocket or, if he’s smart, into a CONTINGENCY FUND for when someone doesn’t pay the invoice right away…

Obviously, I need to rethink my business model. I need to start “leveraging” my “receivables” and “monetizing” my “books” so I, too, can show false profits and qualify for a government handout.

It is obvious that I am involved in the wrong end of the business world. I need to get into the money supplying end of it, instead of the money using end of it.

Then again, what do I know? I’m just a red necked, bog dwelling hick with no formal ed-uh-muh-cay-shun. The fact that my business runs without a debt probably disqualifies me from belonging to the great herd at the public trough, anyway.

Thank you for stopping by, In GOD We Trust, God bless you all, listen to The O Word on BlogTalkRadio, Wear Red on Fridays, and support Warriors for Innocence!

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