Yes, I said cab rider – because some people missed the classes, and they all seem to end up riding with me at one point in time or another:

Rule Number One: NEVER – no, ALWAYS speak in a clear voice. This includes the initial call to the cab company requesting a cab (see rule number three down the page a bit), and when you get in the cab to tell the driver where you are going.

Rule Number Two: ALWAYS acknowledge the existence of the human being who is driving the cab. That is the minimum requirement. The cabbie should be greeting you in a cheerful voice, genuinely happy to see you in the back of the cab – hey, you are the money! Please be gracious enough to return the greeting, even if you have to fake it. We can take a hint, and will not bother you again until it’s time for you to exit the cab.

Rule Number Three: COMMUNICATION is vital. The more information the cab company and the cab driver have, the better your experience with the cab company and the driver will be. Pouring yourself into the back seat and slurring the directions home is a sure way to get a couple extra laps around the town square while you sleep off some of your buzz. We know the area – we have map books for the parts we aren’t sure about – give us an exact address and we will make sure you get home safe, happy, and as inexpensively as possible. When you call the cab company, don’t be irritated at all the question you are being asked. We’re trying to make sure you have an optimally safe ride, and that you will want us to drive you again, in the future.

Rule Number Four: TIP YOUR DRIVER. The minimum tip is 15% or one dollar, whichever is greater. Do not, under any circumstance, hand us just enough to cover the fare (for example, if the meter is $4.70, and you hand us a five) and tell us to “keep the change!” Odds are, you will be given your exact change and told that you need it more than we do. If you cannot tip a minimum of 15% on top of the meter, pay us the meter and whatever else, and say “I’m sorry, I don’t seem to have enough for a proper tip.” We will pretend you mean well, and we won’t sling too much gravel at you as we leave. (by the way, a dollar a bag on top of the 15% is customary. really. ask the skycap next time you are at the airport, or the bell hop next time you are at the hotel.)

Rule Number Two (A): Now that you know how others tip us, do not be too shocked if you should happen to detect a bit of faking on our part – hey, we just got a 30 cent tip on a $4.70 meter! I gotta run to the bank and get that deposited, to take advantage of an extra day’s interest! (in case you are wondering, the minimum tip on a $4.70 meter is about 70 cents. a buck-thirty would go a long way toward cementing your place in my hall of fame. that minimum is if i honk as i pull up and wait until you are fully in the vehicle before dropping the flag and gassing it. if i get out, help you load your luggage or groceries, hold the door for you, make sure you are seated before closing said door, and wait until we are on the street before dropping the flag, i think a thicker tip would be in line – but that’s just me.) (true story – i had one customer who had a $4.45 meter, gave me four singles and two quarters, and waited for the nickel back. i told her while it might say driver only carries $10.00 in change, it doesn’t mean that it’s in change. she was very upset with me. i decided she could unload her own groceries.)

OK – I feel much better now.

Hey – you know what you get when you give a stripper a ride home?

A bunch of singles…

Thank you for stopping by, In GOD We Trust, God bless you all, listen to The O Word on BlogTalkRadio, Wear Red on Fridays, and support Warriors for Innocence!

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I mean, I have so much rolling around in my head – I doubt all of it will get written.

Saturday evening, I got my first cab at about 1645 hours. When I went out to check it and get it ready to go, I had to put air in the left front tire – and I wasn’t sure it would stay there. Once I got on the road, I could hear the “tik-tik-tik” of something metallic in the tire, so I pulled into a parking lot and looked it over – sure enough, a nail in the tread. I took that one back, and got a second cab by 1715 hours. First call was to a bar on 83rd Ave. and Indian School. A lady (who apparently is an early-evening drinker) needed a ride home. When she tried to get into the back seat, she couldn’t. I mean she just could NOT get her body to work right so she could climb into the back seat. She asked if she could sit in front, and I told her yes. I went around, opened the front door, cleared my stuff off the seat, and held the door for her. Now, the cab company policy is that the driver is not to touch the passenger. That means that the passenger is supposed to be able to get themselves in and out of the cab on their own. If they need help due to a medical condition, then the passenger is supposed to contact a non-emergency medical transport company. At any rate – this lady was having a hard time getting into the front seat, also. Don’t get me wrong – she could walk under her own power – she just couldn’t climb onto the seat. At one point, I noticed that the exertions had caused her to urinate in her jeans. Yes, she was working that hard to climb into the cab.

Did I mention that she is a little person? A dwarf – midget – whatever they call themselves.

She finally got herself situated kind of oddly – so that her legs were in the area of the floorboards, and her upper body was on the seat – and she was pretty much laying, face down, on the front seat of the car after fifteen minutes of attempting to get in. She gave me the address, and we were off. Once we arrived at her house (about seven blocks from the bar) it took her another five minutes to get back OUT of the car. She was, however, very gracious, and tipped nicely (the fare was $5.00 and she added two). I managed to keep a straight face until I was at least a block away, and then I just couldn’t help but laugh until the next call came in…

Maggie Thornton cross-posted a piece on global warming on her own Notebook and on Reject the U.N. regarding Global Warming. You’ve all heard how 2500 distinguished scientists have backed the warming models used in the dire predictions – have you heard that 500 of them have since retracted their support? Or that more than 31,000 scientists have signed a petition stating that all the hot air about Anthropogenic Global Warming is just that – a bunch of hot air? I wonder why the MSM hasn’t published any articles about the group that is fifteen times larger…

From Wild Phil comes news that there is a new wine designed especially for seniors. From his e-mail:

California vintners in the Napa Valley area, which primarily produce Pinot Blanc, Pinot Noir and Pinot Grigio wines, have developed a new hybrid grape that acts as an anti-diuretic.
It is expected to reduce the number of trips older people have to make to the bathroom during the night.

The new wine will be marketed as

PINO MORE.

I HEARD IT THROUGH THE GRAPEVINE!

Perhaps they can start serving it at 83rd and Indian School first…

Thank you for stopping by, In GOD We Trust, God bless you all, listen to The O Word on BlogTalkRadio, Wear Red on Fridays, and support Warriors for Innocence!

Yes, you read that right – Victory In Iraq Day! Zombie Time has the original post – here is the text:

We won. The Iraq War is over.

I declare November 22, 2008 to be “Victory in Iraq Day.” (Hereafter known as “VI Day.”)

By every measure, The United States and coalition forces have conclusively defeated all enemies in Iraq, pacified the country, deposed the previous regime, successfully helped to establish a new functioning democratic government, and suppressed any lingering insurgencies. The war has come to an end. And we won.

What more indication do you need? An announcement from the outgoing Bush administration? It’s not gonna happen. An announcement from the incoming Obama administration? That’s really not gonna happen. A declaration of victory by the media? Please. Don’t make me laugh. A concession of surrender by what few remaining insurgents remain in hiding? Forget about it.

All I can do is help spread the word – and ask you to do the same!

Thank you for stopping by, In GOD We Trust, God bless you all, listen to The O Word on BlogTalkRadio, Wear Red on Fridays, and support Warriors for Innocence!

So – The O Word on BlogTalkRadio started out with no chat but that fixed eventually and the show went on. Loon, AnnieB, prying1, Reverend Don, kershaw and sumahe joined us on the phone and in the chat room. What did we talk about? It might be easier to list what we DIDN’T talk about! Happy Thanksgiving (next week!) – Christmas Cards for Heroes – CPT Rob Yllescas – Dryer Fun – Adopt-A-Military-Family – Victory in Iraq Day – T-Mobile – Samantha West – Arizona’s Governor Napolitano to be Homeland Security Cabinet Member – The Messiah at Grace Presbyterian Church on Nicholas Road in Temeculah 12/07/2008 @ 1600 hours – and much more hilarity than should be allowed. Ever. No, really.

^{(Also, the host of the show is exposed as a technological weenie when he can’t figure out it’s his own web site that is providing the audio loop that is driving him nuts.)}

Thank you for stopping by, In GOD We Trust, God bless you all, listen to The O Word on BlogTalkRadio, Wear Red on Fridays, and support Warriors for Innocence!

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Two things: I have a dentist appointment this morning, so the round up will be interrupted, and second, how do you like my signature on the end? Cool, huh? The scanner portion of the all-in-one we bought to replace the two printers and fax and flatbed scanner is working really well!

CPT Rob Yllescas
Good news – the good Captain has made it through another surgery, and is slowly improving overall. Proof of the positive power of prayer!

Project Valor IT
This project to get hands-free and other technology into the hands of our wounded warriors is going on until Thanksgiving. Read all about it at cookiecrumbexpress, and BlackFive

Adopt-A-Military Family for Thanksgiving
Cyber Pastor has the low-down on “Adopt A Military Family for Thanksgiving” – the goal is to support 100 families, let’s help him find more!

Victory In Iraq Day – November 22
Gateway Pundit has a good mix of topics – from a cardinal warning about Obama to the White House press secretary rubbing the MSM’s nose in the Victory In Iraq.

The Independent Republic of Texas
Think I’m kiddin’? Check out Old Soldier, he’ll set you straight…

Home Again
Ol’ Broad and the Mr. have quit ramblin’ for now. Check out their trip to the Holy Land.

Unmitigated Humor
GuyK has a few funnies up, as he shivers through some “GloBULL Warming” – in Florida, of all places! Not humorous, but funny just the same, is Bloviating Zeppelin’s piece on the spending habits of a certain soon-to-be first lady. Did you miss Hug Your Toilet Day?

Hibernation Zone
Richard is getting ready for a long winter on the lake. RattlerGator may be parking his blog for a while – maybe. Unalaska Steve is winding down for the winter, also.

Irresistible Force, Meet Immovable Object
Rob over at American and Proud posits on the Big Three. Texas Fred shares a guns-n-vodka story. Jenn shares the story of Al-Quiada’s #2 and his insults to the president-elect. The BIG THREE are going to have to learn a basic lesson of running a business if they don’t get their bailout – story on Political Pistachio. What heppens when you take on Russia? Looks like the muslims are about to find out – check out the story on Amboy Times. Roland’s Blog has a gorgeous picture posted. Pirates should be eliminated, according to The Bull, but as long as we sail there will be pirates. I agree with the Bull. Greybeard has a video up on the lazy man’s way to wash a Blackhawk. American Apologist has the address for Christmas Cards to Any Recovering Soldier – make sure you send one out! Samantha West has a note about sending out packages and cards – get over there and get updated.

You Want Scary?
Pop on over to Dumb Looks Still Free for a good (and scary) piece on America and her direction. mdconservative^® has a video Letter To The President Elect.

Wednesday Hero!
Mail Call! Supporting the Troops

General News
Ozark Guru and his gang have rounded up today’s headlines for you.

Special Hug to Loon

Thank you for stopping by, In GOD We Trust, God bless you all, listen to The O Word on BlogTalkRadio, Wear Red on Fridays, and support Warriors for Innocence!

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