I used to work as the Registrar for a small Business College that has since been absorbed and merged out of existence. One of the requirements for the Paralegal Associates Degree program was that the applicant (student) needed to provide a letter of reference from a lawyer, legal firm, or private counselor.

One student brought in her letter during her first term of classes. Before I filed the letter in the student’s folder, I read through it.

Wow.

The letter of reference, signed by the lawyer, was pretty standard, as far as the wording went. What was less than standard was the accuracy of the speeling. In three paragraphs extolling the studint’s abilitys, goles, and dreems, there were at least five mispellings.

In each paragraph.

Since I was in a good mood, I figured I wood call John Doe, Attorney at Law.

Thank you for calling the offices of John Doe, Attorney At Law. We are sorry, no one is available to answer your call directly. Please leave your name, a number we can reach you at, and a brief message. Your call will be returned within one working day. Thank you. Beep.

Hi, Mr. Doe, this is Cary Cartter. I am the registrar at (name of defunct business college). If you could give me a call back at 602-555-1212, extension xxx, I’d like to talk to you about (name of student). Thank you!

About an hour later, my phone rang:

Thank you for calling (name of defunct business college), this is Cary. How may I help you?

Hi, Cary, this is John Doe. You left a message regarding (student) – is everything in order?

Hello, Mr. Doe. The letter itself is in order; I was just wondering – are you aware that there are quite a few spelling errors in this letter?

What do you mean?

For example, the word “reference” in the first sentence is spelled with an “a” and there are several more misspellings of that nature – would you like to do a rewrite before this is filed in the student’s permanent file?

Who the h*** do you think you are? Why are questioning the g**d*** spelling in that letter? Do you know who the f*** I am? Just because –

I do apologize, sir, I just assumed that a prominent attorney, such as yourself, would rather have a correctly spelled letter of reference under their letterhead, especially for a permanent entry. Since it offends you that I would ask you about it, I do apologize. Good bye.

A few minutes later, the President of the school called me into his office. I took the letter with me, knowing exactly what the conversation was going to be about.

J: So, Cary, ticking off lawyers now?

C: Yes, I am, Jeff. It’s great sport.

J: Do you have the letter?

C: Here you go.

He looked over it, and I could see the smirk starting on his lips before he even finished the first line.

J: You called him?

C: Yes, and asked if he wouldn’t like to do a rewrite.

J: He got upset?

C: Started cussing, actually, but I cut that off as fast as I could and ended the conversation.

J: He says you hung up on him.

C: If by “hung up on him” he means that I apologized and said good bye, yes I did.

J: Well, he apparently doesn’t care about his image. File it.

C: Yes, sir.

I made a mental note of the student’s name, a copy of the letter to frame and hang in my office, and went about my business.

Three months later the student’s academic abilities were such that she was given the option of retaking some classes or leaving the college. I had a chance to talk to her before she left. I asked her about the letter of reference, and she told me that he had just signed it, she was actually the one who wrote it while she was working in his office part time.

I didn’t say another word. I couldn’t, I was suppressing so much laughter.