Tinnitus is what I have. Not bad enough to get a surgery to correct it, but bad enough to hear it all. the. time.

This is on top of the slight hearing loss that makes it difficult – nay, impossible! – to hear more than one source of sound clearly at a time. So, if you are talking to me and telling me about the program you are watching, please pause or mute the program before talking, or it all comes at me like an audible bowl of oatmeal.

The tinnitus, though – it’s starting to get on my physical nerves. Imagine, if you will, the sound of the station between stations on the FM band. Not AM – that’s too harsh of a sound. That FM non-station sound is constant in your imagination, and it is unceasing. No matter what time of day or night, you can hear it. The volume level is about three on a scale of ten. Not overly loud, but constant.

I hear it when I wake up in the morning. I’ve been hearing it all night, unconsciously. When I fall asleep at night, I fall asleep hard because I am tired. When my body gets enough sleep to become aware, usually after a couple hours, then I can hear the tinnitus again. It won’t let me fall back asleep. I toss and turn then, for the rest of the night. I fall asleep from physical exhaustion again about an hour before my alarm goes off to start another day. I get out of bed, still tired, both physically and mentally. This cycle repeats every day.

(doing the same thing, over and over, expecting a different result …)

I yawn during the day. A lot. I cover it up mostly, so no one sees it at work. How would that look, the manager yawning all the time? Once in a while a yawn catches me off guard and I have to work hard to stifle it in front of the boss or worse, a customer.

Boss can see this post. She knows I have the hearing issues cropping up lately. Now, she knows how else it affects me.

I’m not saying this to elicit sympathy. I am saying this as a matter of explaining. Letting you know why I don’t respond immediately when you call my name. Filling all of you in on why I don’t always know everything that is said to me. Ask yourself: Did he acknowledge what I said? Was he looking at me when I said it? Was there another sound source when I was speaking to him?

If I smile and nod at you when/while you are talking to me, I can’t hear you and I am just trying to be polite.

Please don’t be offended when I ask you to repeat what you said. Again. And once more, to make sure I heard you correctly.

Chat ya later…

Thanks for stopping by, In GOD We Trust, and Wear Red on Fridays!

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