The Last Call
March 5th, 2009 . by Caryring ring ring RING RING RIIIINNNNNGGGGG
Hello, MSM?
Yeah, it’s me, the American public. Sorry to wake you up, but it’s kind of important. I know you told me everything would be OK once TEH ONE was elected, but it’s really not looking good from where I live. And all the scare articles about global warming? Doesn’t help that you only report one side of the story. Whatever happened to you, MSM? I used to be able to trust you to tell me the whole story. I used to enjoy snapping open a fresh copy of the paper, or turning on the news. Now, I would rather scope out the sources on the internet and come to my own conclusions – since you aren’t telling me everything. You really need to get off of whatever you’ve been snorting, man – everyone is talking about how you can’t even do your job anymore. They’re saying you are going to be dropped, and instead of finding someone else to do your job, the customers are going to do it for themselves. Truthfully, you have really been pushing the limits of my generosity. I mean, the only reason I still have a paper delivered is because I like to hold it my hands, and be able to go back and re-read something at my leisure. I like to scan the headlines, and then go in-depth on the articles that I think might not be slanted to the left. Sure, I skip right over anything with “Obama” in the headline, but only because YOU keep lying to me about what he said compared to what he’s doing now.
Really, MSM, I just wanted to call and say that while it’s been fun, I just can’t invest any more of my emotional bankroll in you. I’m breaking it off. But trust me – it’s not me, it’s you. Sorry, dude, you broke a trust that you had spent years building up, and now look at your place. Campaign posters all over the walls and floor, and the election was months ago, dude. That party is so over, you should clean your place up. Nobody likes to come over anymore because of the mess.
Anyway, I hope you can get your life back together. I’m not saying I’ll come running back to you if you DO get your act cleaned up, but I may be willing to look in on you now and again if I see that things improve.
Goodbye, MSM. Good luck.
Chat ya later…
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